With Salt Stains' one year anniversary approaching in just one day, my heart was so heavy and downcast. Just out of nowhere, doubts and questions and insecurities flooded my mind and when I finally opened God's word to silence them, I couldn't register a single word of it. My head was drowning and my heart was bursting with anxiety—it was all so so loud. It was all these expectations I had set for myself, all these goals I had said I would achieve in one year. Had I done it all?
I love what I do. I pour my heart and soul into what I do. I love it because I get to incorporate my belief and faith into it and share it with others. I love it because I get to utilize the very gift God has woven into my DNA before I existed. Starting my own business was what I'd always wanted, so Salt Stains was totally a dream come true! But there have been fierce trials. There have been sleepless nights, teary nights, and hopeless nights that made me consider giving up. But God is good.
"COMMIT YOUR WORK TO THE LORD, AND YOUR PLANS WILL BE ESTABLISHED."
My go-to passage finally calmed my soul and hugged me tight. Commit your work to the Lord. Everything else will follow. Trust. For most of my life, I thought life was about being the best, being at the top, and persevering with pure will. That's tiring. Even after conversion, I'm still wrestling with my old baggage, because sinful habits are so darn hard to break. So I go back to Scripture.
I do not know what tomorrow will bring. I am a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. (James 4:14) Hah! There is absolutely no need for me to dream up grand and glorious visions for myself, because I don't even know what God has in store for me tomorrow. Oh what peace. This is hard to say as a business woman, but as a Christian, it shouldn't be about how many sales or features or followers I get, though they are obviously important. If I start idolizing those things —which is often— my heart starts to fret. I lose sleep. I'm fighting God's guidance and covering my ears!
Today, I cannot put into words how thankful I am. God has faithfully and visibly worked through Salt Stains, touched many hearts, and filled my own heart with joy and purpose. I have learned the hard way that God needs to be the reason for my goals. Because in the end, it isn't about my checklist. It's about God's plan.
My prayer was that this post would encourage those of you who struggle with the same sins as mine and lose sleep over the same idols as mine. As long as God is the reason and motivation behind your toiling, you need not worry. You are not in control. And you are missing out if you haven't felt the kind of peace and joy God gives to those who trust.
I'm so incredibly grateful for all the encouraging messages I've gotten, and nothing makes me celebrate more obnoxiously than praising God with a stranger I connected through Salt Stains. As I plan for year 2016, I pray God will use Salt Stains to bless you and remind you of His goodness. God is always good and He is worthy of praise and worship!
Now I am off to celebrate with my consultant/partner/accountant/hubby.
P.S. If you are curious about the CRAZY night before I launched Salt Stains 365 days ago, read this!