Even though we are newlyweds who got married only three months ago, we have already gone through some rough patches. This to me, makes a lot of sense. It's two imperfect people with many terrible flaws and selfishness trying to live together and make decisions together. I mean, that's gotta be hard. We were having one of those bedside talks with one night lamp on, ready to turn it off when the silence got too long and our minds, too tired. And I found myself murmuring, "Marriage is hard." And it sure is, as most worthy things in life are.
The other day, Elias brought home a bouquet of dark pink roses and poked his head into my studio, with that sheepish smile of his. "I know we've been arguing a lot lately..." he said.
When I am tempted to feel insecure and doubtful about our marriage and relationship, I remember that we will never give up on it because it is founded upon something stronger than both of us. We believe that God put us together, that He will carry us through the roller-coaster of life, and slowly change us to be more gracious, wise, and loving. It's not always about how much longer you've lived, because I see that my parents are going through the same things still. I believe it's more about how long you've been living an obedient life, how much you've been listening to the Holy Spirit. And for me, it hasn't been too long.
When I saw that the roses had bloomed the next morning, I was thankful. I was thankful that God was my Father, that Elias was my husband, and that I really had nothing lacking in my life in any way. God takes care of His children, and it's a choice I make to count my blessings. Our house, friends, community, families, and most of all, our faith. I'm thankful for our arguments and moments of reconciliation. I'm thankful I get to spend time cooking fancy dinners for us just because he really (REALLY) looks forward to eating at home after work.
"It only gets better!" said my father-in-law, and that's him referring to his marriage that's over two decades old. And he's right. You just can't go into a marriage thinking there is this "honeymoon phase" and once that's done it's only downhill from there. There is no fleeting "honeymoon phase" that dissipates, but it only gets better in time, because it is not centered on "me" and I'm not doing it alone.
We're just three months into our marriage, and I already know my husband better than I did after four years of dating. You do have to believe in this: God changes people.
And so we will, for the better.